This is him playing his real drum set on his birthday. I have about a thousand of these pictures... cause he is adorable! There is one where he is using the foot pedal to keep the beat!
Here is are a few more recent pictures. We borrowed a sofa in Anthropologie for these pictures!
Okay, now on to the purpose of this blog...
So I mentioned in my last blog that I've learned a lot from this two-year old. He is so precious, and annoying at the same time! He loves his mom and dad like no other child I have ever seen. Anthony always loved me, and was excited to see me, as were my other neices and nephews. But Jesiah is different. My brother walks in the room and Jesiah lights up. If Tim says something to Jesiah, his expression reflects all that he feels. And he is just two. I absolutely love watching my brother interact with his son.
But the thing I have learned most from this little boy, isn't how he loves his dad. It is how he throws a tempertantrum! Go figure! For as much as Jesiah loves his mom and dad, he is completely finicky with the rest of us. I truly believe I am the coolest aunt my neices and nephews have (don't tell my sisters). And I plan on being each kid's favorite aunt. The reality is, they put up with me about as well as they put up with anyone. I don't think any of them have a favorite. But I could be wrong. In Jesiah's case, I never know if he will cry or smile when he sees me... it's always up in the air.
Nancy had a birthday party at my house last month. And Jesiah and his parents were there. When they walked in, he was asleep. About half way through the evening he woke up. There were other children there (Olivia and Sawyer Dixon). It was really cute to watch the boys play together. My son, as you well know is turning 14 this year... his toys aren't so much what two year olds should be playing with. But thankfully he has soccer balls, and basket balls, and nerf balls, etc. So we pulled them out for the little ones.
Anyway, as the evening grew on, and the boys played and we all laughed. Anyway, something happened (I am not really sure) anyway, Jesiah started screaming, not crying softly so not to interupt the other conversations... no he was crying at the top of his lungs! Sawyer tried to help, Tim tried to help, Jerusha tried to help... and still Jesiah screamed! So there he was standing in my living room, holding the ball and screaming. I being the intellegent woman that I am, and oh so willing to jump in at a moment's notice to help stop the noise... ask "What's wrong? What happened?" Tim responds.... "He wants the ball."... Now I know you are all intellegent people... so you will remember about two sentences ago, when I said he was standing in my living room holding the ball and screaming. He had exactly what he wanted and still he was throwing a fit. It interupted all conversation... my home isn't that big. In fact I am sure my neighor's heard it. Our ears finally got a rest when Tim picked up Jesiah and calmed him down. The party continued on... but that is the scenario I wanted to share with you.
So weeks later, I am having a spiritual fit... ranting to God about all that is missing in my life. How I don't feel like I am doing a good enough job at (fill in the blank). I was storming through my home, in almost every room just telling God all the was wrong in my life, all that was missing. At one point I was lying face down in my living room crying cause I was so upset.
And it hit me... I was Jesiah. I love my daddy God. LOVE HIM! I trust him, when he moves in my direction nothing I do can hide my pleasure. Yet, here I am lying on my carpet telling God all that is missing. He gave me a home, a brand new home, he took care of everything. All I had to do was say yes. I had what I never thought I would have, and yet I was telling him it wasn't enough. I was holding what I wanted in my hands and still screaming like my two year old nephew.
It of course took me a few days to process it all. And to realize all that God was showing me. Here I am telling God it's not enough, but when has he ever left me high and dry? When has not provided what I needed? When has he ever acted as if I didn't matter to him? I can't think of any time. He has told me no plenty of times, he has disciplined me... but isn't that what a good parent does? As Tim was comforting his son, he was telling him in no uncertain terms that he behavior wasn't acceptable.
I can't say that I will never struggle with my circumstances, I am human after all. But I pray that I never forget the lesson I learned from watching my adorable nephew.
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